osanne, baby

[baby osanne]

baby osanne - sixteen - junior - female - asexual - steph - est - mona johannesson

Headmaster,

The essay you are about to read is one for your eyes and your eyes only unless you would like to publish it, for some odd reason unbeknown to myself, to make me tons of money and make me famous. This is confidential and if you would like I could say it in French in case my English simply wasn't good enough for you.

You know my father. He had sex with your wife before she met you. You know, back when you were all young and gorgeous and seemed to not know that sleeping around, whether for money or not, could possibly lead to getting a sexually transmitted disease. If you do not remember him, maybe his name will ring a bell? It's a tad bit famous, you know; Rhett Osanne. He's a hunksicle, according to my mother before she had her mental breakdown. Sweet, really, how she was a low life absolute nothing American, quite like yourself, and managed to get so rich she could shit money because she married into a wealthy family. No, I'm sorry. They aren't married and I don't think they ever will when my mother is basically in the looney bin. So anyway, the essay and how this little blurb of mine is relevant to the question posted on your 'fabulously designed' school website.

Why do I, Baby Osanne (who on Earth came up with such a name?), want to attend Siren-Bishop Hall?

I bet you received a million and one entries all claiming that they want a higher education, the best of the best, hands on experience, everything needed to prepare them for university. Truthfully, since I am a very honest person, I do not like Siren-Bishop Hall very much. It is not absolutely drop dead gorgeous like Santa Croce Academia in Italy or Bordeaux in France, which was where I initially wanted to go until my father decided to move to America to get away from France, Italy and, in his words, 'leave all the memories in that God-forsaken home behind.' You see, the reason I do not like Siren-Bishop Hall is because of its location. Nothing good has really come from American education. Americans are no longer leaders in the sciences, mathematics, not even in literature and the arts. So what on Earth can you, Headmaster, provide for me in order to convince me that it is worth every penny my father spends on my beautifully plump ass to attend such a 'prestigious' academy?

Nothing. I thought so.

So to answer your question, I am attending this academy because America reminds my father of my mother, Dolores (whom you will never have the pleasure to meet)m when they first met; before all the problems upon moving to Europe, before I was a fetus in her womb, before I came in the world, before her mental break down, before she decided talking to a psychiatrist would solve her problems, and before that psychiatrist gave her the wrong dosage on her pills and killed her. I am attending this academy for my father and no one else because he. of all the people left on this planet, deserve the very best and if attending an academy I hate with every fiber of my being is what he wants, I shall do so blindly because the day he found my mother, was the day he died with her and the only way to keep him from offing himself is by typing this entry essay to you, Headmaster.

So whether you accept me and my perfect grade point average or not, I can make my father happy again. Even if it means kicking your ass to let me attend in the fall.

-- Baby Osanne.
--- Year Eleven.