goode, Vincent "Budda"

[vincent goode]

vincent “budda” goode - eighteen - senior - male – pedobear JAYKAY LOL: hetero - bozzy - eastern – boyd holbrook

TODAY’S DATE IS:
“Some day in June, I think. I’m not all too sure. Last night was kind of fucked up.”
HELLO MY NAME IS:
“Vincent Fucking Goode. Because that’s exactly what I am. However, most people refer to me as Vince, and my usual middle name among my friends is Budda…but you should just call me Vince.”
MY AGE IS: “Twenty-three. And a quarter. Funny, that’s how much I spent on that Canadian prostitute last week. Weird, eh?...O.K. Fine. Eighteen, unless you’re seriously asking, in which case I’m at least twenty-one.”
I WAS BORN ON: “October 12th, or some time to that effect.
MY GENDER IS: “Well, I have a dangly thing hanging from where my vagina would be…”
MY NATIONALITY IS: ““I don’t fucking know. Probably Irish, my dad was a fucking loon of an alcoholic.”
MY ETHNICITY IS: “Black is back suckaaah. JAYKAY, ROFL. Teehee. No. Seriously. I’m white.”
MY SEXUALITY IS: “PEDOBEAR, AS I LIKE ZEE LITTLE CHILDS, NO?...No? Yeah, I’m a vegetarian, so it’s pretty much straight up vagina for me: no meat in my mouth. Yo no homo.”
MY EYE COLOR IS: “The sexiest shade of blue you’ll ever see in your life, you whore. My eyes get green rings around the iris when I orgasm.”
MY HAIR COLOR IS: “White to golden blonde. It’s kinda fucked up.”
MY OVER-ALL PHYSICAL APPEARANCE IS: “Pretty sexy. Skinny like a bitch, but sexy. Jagged angles of a face, big hands and feet (and you know what they say about big feet), a but of scruff around my chin, a cliff of a nose. AND HAIRY NIPPLES. But you’ll grow to love them, trust me.

I have an elephant tattoo on the inside of my left wrist, and my nose is a bit crooked, but not unattractively so. I have a pierced right ear, and a lizard down my rib cage on that same side. I’m not a fag; I just think it looks like the shit of life. The lizard is in freakin’ space. I also have the word ‘interrobang’ tattooed across my stomach, with an interrobang punctuating it…but I doubt you know what that is, anyway. ”
MY CLOTHES ARE: “They aren’t from GAP, if that’s what you’re asking about.”
MY FAMILY IS: “Fucking retarded. I’m not related to them (thank Jesus), but they are the closest family I have. My dad, my real dad, was a huge asshole who would come home hammered and beat the shit out of me every night. If he wasn’t hitting me, he was hitting my mom or trying to rape my sister. Loving guy, that one.

After karma finally bit him in the ass—died of a heart attack, that bastard—my mom couldn’t stand the sight of me, and sent me off to a foster home not even two years after his death. Said I reminded her too much of him. Me and my sister, Les, short for Leslie, still talk, and even meet sometimes. Mom and Les have a new family now, with a man named Henry. I have a half brother and half sister, as well as a stepsister.

My new family consists of my parole officer, Bill, his wife, Carol, their son Nathan, a stranger named Kyrie, and an old woman who lives in our basement and doesn’t know my name is really Vince. Her name is Mutti, and to her I am Bruhit. It’s sad really, but I love her to bits anyway. So we’re dysfunctional, but it’s better than being alone all of the time, I guess.”
RANDOM QUESTION TIME:
-If you had a baby, what would you name it?
“Whatever I was pissed at currently, so I could hit it. I.E. I’d name it Technology and kick it in the face every time my computer freezes.”
-Pick up the book nearest to you. Flip to the fifty-sixth page. Find a quote that you would agree with.
“That’s not a question.”
-What does it say? See statement before this.
“ ‘But tie yourself to a woman and you’re bound hand and foot—all freedom gone.’ – War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy.”
-Are you hot?
“Temperature-wise, no. Physically, yes, but of course.”
-Favorite Dr. Seuss story?
“The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins, of course. That kid pulls hats out of his ass! Nothing beats it.”
-Do you have any nicknames? If so, where do they come from?
"Some close (but idiotic) friends of mine call me 'budda', because they don't know how to pronounce and/or spell Buddha. I kid you not."
-What did your last outgoing text say?
“ ‘why yes, i would like to go for coffee with you tmrw night! but how about we replace ‘go for’ with give me, ‘coffee’ with a blow job, and ‘tmrw night’ with in a half hour. cum on, we all know it’s gonna happen anyway sweetheart’ ”
-Have you ever eaten a crayon?
“Why yes. And it tasted a lot like the inside of your mom’s vagina. Weird.”
-Who is your best friend?
“Don’t got one. If I did, it would just be an aborted fetus anyway.”
- Last time you took a shower?
“Yesterday morning. I firmly believe that you only need to wash your hair and feet. Cologne can deal with the rest.”
-What’s one thing you look for in a partner?
“A chick who can blow my mind as well as she does my dick.”
-What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
“You, roofied, in the face. Naw. Sleeping, surprisingly. Usually I can’t.”
-If you had to choose one character from lierature to be your counterpart, who would it be?
“The hybrid baby of Holden Claufield and Mercutio. Hands down.”
-Do you collect anything?
“Pencil nubs. You’d be surprised how many of them you find just lying around.”
-What is the theme song of your life?
“Depending on my mood, either the Bloodhound Gang’s Bad Touch, or that really shitty I’m Too Sexy by those gay guys. Because. You know. A lot of the time, I am too sexy for my cat. That’s why I don’t have one.”
THE FINALS COMMENTS:
“Wtf am I supposed to put here? My favorite color is jade green and my favorite food is penis –giggity-. Seriously, why don’t you just go gnaw your dick off already? Or better off, why not gnaw off mine…or try to (;”